It’s one of the simplest words in the English language. Two letters, one syllable, incredibly commonplace. In fact, it even transcends language. Whether you’re in the jungles of South America, the city lights of Paris, or the plains of the United States, your audience knows exactly what you mean when you say no.
Why, then, is it so difficult to tell someone no – particularly in the business world? Why would we much rather say yes, even when no is the correct statement? These are questions worth exploring – so let’s take a look.
Why We Avoid Saying No
We all have our own unique reasons for saying no – many of them specific to the situation or scenario at hand – but it often comes down to one of three factors: fear of conflict, unwillingness to disappoint, and a desire to fit in.
“Many of us are afraid of conflict,” psychotherapist Diane Barth explains. “We don’t like others to be angry with us or critical of us. We therefore avoid saying ‘no’ when we are afraid that it will put us into conflict with someone else, whether that someone is an intimate partner, a colleague or friend, or a supervisor or boss.”
We also say no because we don’t want to disappoint or hurt people. Saying yes often seems like a quick way to appease the individual who is seeking something from us – even if we know it’s not the right statement.
Finally, there’s the desire to fit in and avoid sticking out. Saying yes is usually the most comfortable option. When you respond in the affirmative, people take your statement at face value. When telling someone no, you have to justify your response.
4 Tips for Saying No
In the business world, being a “yes man” will get you in a lot of trouble. While there’s a time and place for saying yes, you also have to be willing and prepared to say no. Here’s how you do it:
1. Make Up Your Mind
If you’re still a little iffy on whether to say yes or no, you’ll lack the confidence you need to really. It’s a whole lot easier if you’ve made up your mind beforehand.
If you’re ever unsure, ask for some time to review your calendar or think on the choices. As entrepreneur Martin Zwilling notes, “It’s an acceptable business practice to review your schedule or converse with other principals before committing to an answer. Don’t respond with a quick yes that you can’t deliver, or a quick no that will ruin a relationship.”
2. Keep Your Word
Let your yes be yes and no be no. If you say one thing and do something else, you’ll develop a reputation for being wishy-washy. At the very least, this ruins the confidence people have in you. At the very worst, it could actually cause people to avoid doing business with you in the future.
If you make a habit out of keeping your word, you’ll find that people spend less time questioning you when you say no. It’s as if they know where you stand and don’t see any sense in challenging you.
3. Control Your Delivery
Saying no isn’t just about delivering the actual word. You also have to be cognizant of your delivery.
“Your body language and tone of voice can do a lot to soften the negativity of a no,” Green Residential points out. “While a cold, hard delivery is sometimes necessary, there’s definitely a time and place for a warm, soft letdown. Being able to consistently differentiate between these situations will help you tremendously.”
4. Avoid Over-Apologizing
Because of the discomfort that comes with saying no, we often try to make excuses to soften the blow. While we may think we’re doing ourselves a favor, we’re actually making it harder. The more excuses you provide, the more resistance you’ll get. Stick with the facts and avoid over-apologizing.
Learning how to say no is difficult, yet necessary. If you want to be successful in the business world, you must learn how to use that simple, yet empowering word in the appropriate moments – even when it’s uncomfortable. And until you master this skill, you’ll fail to maximize your potential.